Thursday February 11, 2010 By Dave Kiley


We’ve been on our feet for the past four days searching the city for some motorcycles so that we could get our bundas off of that damn onibus! We would have snatched some up the first day or even the second but the adversary kept putting stumbling blocks in our path! First we couldn’t take out more that 800 reiais (400 dollars) out of the bank at a time, and the bikes we’re costing about 5000 reiais ( 2700 dollars) Then once we figured out payment we found out we couldn’t by them without some Brazilian cpf number, so we had to go get one from the city building, but it all worked out in the end. Now we’ve got some awesome wheels that will keep us from having to sweat on the bus like a teenage boy on the “whose the daddy of the baby” episode of the Maury show!

However, while we were on our search we saw many things, yeah many great and wonderful things. At the bus station a man was there that offered us a hostel for super cheap! Plus he gave us a ride there for free, and stopped by a motorcycle shop so we could figure some bike stuff out. We won’t mention that the passenger seat was stuck all the way back and reclined and I was the lucky one who got to sit behind it when we got stuck in traffic for 2 hours! Haha, or that the passenger door is tied shut with a shoelace, or that homeboy driving creeps up on every chick in site, slowly moves his hand to the horn and when the moment is right he blasts her with a honk of manhood! As long as she’s good looking of course. The hostel is right on the beach, south beach, which is beautiful, a little far away from everything, but that’s how I, David, like it. It’s calm and peaceful down here and you can fall asleep to the waves crashing right outside your window. There’s even a lady from chili that washes our clothes for us!

The first day down here, we went out looking for a place to eat, a kid passed us on a bike, we asked him to do a wheelie and he did one forever down the street, huge wheelie! We went on our way with our walk when all of a sudden homeboy comes flying past us in a wheelie again! And he continued to stay close to us showing off his wheelie skills till he almost crashed and then he took off. It was hilarious! The only restaurant we’d seen or heard of was closed, so we asked around to some locals who pointed us in the direction of the hot dog stand. It was actually really good, and the dude working, whose name is Luis Cristiano I believe, was an awesome dude. Him, his sister (who had a really fat baby) and his wife helped us outline a plan of our trip! Looks like we’re in for a good time! We chilled there for awhile and he played some guitar, a few English songs and then some Portuguese country songs. It was awesome. And then when we we’re leaving we watched a car jump a curb and smash into a cement wall, which was actually somebodies fence, the driver and passenger hurried and switched positions, backed out in a hurry, went to take off but I thing the car was struggling, so they sat there for a bit, contemplating the situation, and then took off! Haha, at least they thought about it. The next day was saw the repair guy laying some bricks and mortar to fix it up.

Saturday on the bus we were approached by a female, her name was Paula, at first a thought she just wanted to practice her English, but then she invited us to a house party! But then here house party cost money and we were already going to the party on the beach, but then she talked us into it, telling us how awesome it was gonna be. So we bought tickets and went to Paula’s party only to find out that, Paula who had just conned us into this party was 17 years old, and had just got us in to the best high school party ever!! Haha, jim and I tore up the dance floor for a bit, the chicks giggled but wouldn’t dance with us, so we bolted on out of there to see if we could catch any beach party still. We stopped to take nians picture with a pretty Brazilian girl and headed down this trail. Well right at the beginning of the trail, three dudes in speedos came rollin out. Felt a little gay vibe, but I figures it was just the speedo’s tellin me that, but then along the trail we saw probably 20 more guys in more or less than the same dress telling us the party was awesome. Well we burst out the end of the trail to see nothing other than dude on dude action, just getting their bumpty bump in…..Gross. So we took off running down the beach till we found the party with chicks. Partied for a but and then hit the hay

Sunday we got ourselves all prettied up nice for church and headed out. By the time we got there I looked like I had just jumped in a pool with all my clothes on! Nothing like 120 degrees in tropical humid brazil! Hahaha, we hiked around to north beach where we found a hidden little beach with a small rock jump, so we went and threw some gainers and flips, talked to these cool kids whose parents owned the place and said we could stay whenever, then we hit road!

Monday night we got to go meet up with Nians mission president. He loved Nians hair! Haha, He took us back to his place where we had family home evening with them, its been awhile since us single dudes sat in on a family home evening, it was pretty awesome. Made us some pizza, and took us to a hotel where we spent a wonderful night watching a night in the museum, chasing cockroaches, and manscaping! Haha, good times, and a great breakfast the next morning. Nians mission president talked to us and gave a parabola of the fast swimming fish and the slow swimming fish, that too many people were trying to catch the fast fish and that more should catch the slow fish. We didn’t know if he was trying to tell us to marry the ugly chicks or the easy chicks hahaha, just kidding. He also said his excuse before he was married was he hadn’t found the right girl, until he told a seventy that one day, and the seventy answered back, no, your just not looking in the right places. Soon after that he found his wife in an institute class. All these things he told us turn out to be quite ironic later in my story.

Today all day I went and picked up my bike, took forever cuz the debit card wouldn’t work so he finally had to do it on credit card. Him and I and his son all went out for lunch though and spent the morning and early afternoon kickin it. Then the mechanic michell put a dinomoto’s sticker on my new TDM 225, said take pictures along the way on our journey and send them to him so that they could follow us in our adventure. They’re so jealous, but I would be too if I wasn’t doing this awesome trip myself! Then I cruised over, in the rain, to skin moto’s where jim was taking all the parts off of one crappy bike and putting them on another to make one awesome bike! So I gave him a hand and we hung out with another awesome mechanic, Andre. The fool is like brazils wheelie champion! Medals galore, but a cool down to earth kid. We’re gonna try and get him to come work in the states! When we got done hustling deals, building bikes, filling up with gas, getting some helmets and eating some awesome pizza, we showered up and headed out on our new rides! We met up with a certain someone who wishes not to be named, because we wouldn’t want a certain somebodies mission president to find out that his daughter met up with us to go to the club!! Haha, I believe that qualifies as looking for it in the right place right? Right Nian? Haha, Good times at the club and tons of beautiful Brazilian girls. Then we cruised it back to our hostel where were about to peace out for the night. Set up a nice hammock and let the breeze rock me to snoozerton.

P.s. Weaving through traffic and between buses and semis on my little bike is TAZAO!!!!! Which means awesome, tubular, bodacious, radical, and boner!!